“正法真正融入相续的修行者，他们的身、语、意三门应如脚踩在棉花上或者米粥里加入酥油一样柔软、调和。否则自己成办少分善事或护持少许净戒就认为我已如何如何了，相续恒时充满我慢，对方言词稍有不当便说：“他轻视、污辱我了！”而心中愤愤然、气冲冲，这说明正法与自相续已互相脱离，是正法丝毫也无益于自心之标帜。如金厄瓦格西说：“我们越闻思修行我执越重，而忍耐力比新肌 还弱，心量狭小比卫藏的厉鬼 更加暴躁易怒，这是闻思修已颠倒之标帜。”因此我们应于一切时处谦虚谨慎、身居卑位、身著破衣、恭敬上中下所有的人而着重修持慈悲菩提心（以慈悲菩提心为本），以正法调伏自相续是修行的无误要点，所以它已胜过了无益于自心成千上万的高高见解及甚深修习。"

那么，花呢？

这三年比较大的教训是：一 自己能容忍不同的价值观，不意味着实际操作中可以无视代沟和差异的存在；二 不能 set up myself to overwhelming situations; 三 it is possible to be weak in a harmless way；四 I do have emotion, so I need to a way to let it out。

开学后，学校又恢复了生机。原来有如此多的好玩的！

I am so happy that I decided to stay here for this semester.

若干年前学习产科的时候，书上画了各种各样的异常胎位，老师一再强调人生和正常分娩一样，只有从“胎头俯屈”开始，才能避免难产。在这场考试中，抬着头的从来就不能活着出来。这个鲜血淋漓的道理，生命从一开始就教给我们了。

常在因果河中走，每是眼前难看透。 果真境转见前身，何须烦恼上额头。

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今天去了个古巴小馆子。

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YouTube - 陳淑樺 笑紅塵
  

在冷泉港开了个会。

It was quite an experience for me. I paid no attention to the gas level until my colleague and I encountered a midnight I-95 traffic jam. The car almost died on highway and eventually refused to run one-min away from a local gas station!

beef goulash soup 应该说闻起来很不错。

I almost forget how hateful it was to take the train between my home and college, so I decide to write it down before it fades completely.

During the 35~48 hr travel, I usually sat/stood in the crowded carriage, watched other passengers going up and down, and witnessed the train became dirtier and smellier by our litter. Soon drinkable water ran out at each carriage, and later water for toilets was also depleted by the overloaded passengers. Men started to smoke at their seats if you did not excuse them to leave. The first time I got on the train from Beijing to Fuzhou marked the beginning of these messy treks. I naively carried many heavy books, and caught a severe cold on the way. I felt so exhausted that I would die halfway to fuzhou... When my parents received me on Fuzhou station, I was alive with the cold over, but they could not recognize me even though I waved at them continuously. The worst trips usually happened before and after every spring festival, when the heaviest traffic hits the railroad.  Medical schools have shorter vacation, and it aggragates the grief. Usually it took 30 mins fight a way from the midpoint of an aisle to one end, because non-seat passengers immobilized the whole train. Once I could not push myself through the crowd to reach water or the toilet, a youth standing on the side teased me, "say 'excuse me big brother', and they will make room for you to cross!" Soon I tried and discovered what he claimed was true.  Only one winter trip made me feel I would tolerate a bigger cram: my friend Minhui and I got on the train at beijing station near midnight, and noticed that the temproray train didn't have heating, just as we had heard of.  The leaking green train with metal walls ran slowly on the dark plain throught northern china's freezing night. At 8:00 a.m. I was finally able to inhale freely and stopped worrying about becoming an ice pop.

Summer is supposed to be less crowded and thus easier, but don't forget about nightmares before the magical torture on the train. Dealing with ticketing agencies was always annoying. I always worried a lot about the tickets, and always felt lucky if I was able to get one for home. Usually I could not get a bed ticket because there is only one train went to my hometown, which is the capital of Fujian province! To get on board, it was another humiliation for every human being. During one summer home trip, my student ID was torn because the woman at the station thought it was faked.. It costs me 40 yuan to beg a new and authentic one from the university, which innocently have the biggest share at "pseudo-certificate markets".

Perhaps because I didn't whine much at home, my father refused to buy air tickets for me. He insisted that it is dangerous to fly, and proudly believed that it was a training process to experience the tough part of life. i was outrageous and yelled at him, "You have never taken any long-distance train, leave alone that in the busiest season, how can you be the right person to talk about 'the tough part'? Why don't you try sitting on a chair at home for 36 hrs to have a flavor? " (I wasn't very polite to my parents. At middle school, I appeared easy-going except for facing one person -- I debated with my father through almost all the lunches and dinners, probably because of my rebellious adolescence.) My outbreak changed the situation. My father started to help me get the bed ticket when I need to travel from Fuzhou to Beijing. It wasn't very easy.  After numerous trials, he finally got the a street trick from insiders and able to get a bed ticket quite often (from windows! ). (It seems I benefits a lot from the qurarel... To some extent, he was right about the training process. Yes, it was such an experience for me to cherish, not just because it was difficult: I was able to talk to many kinds of people during the boring days and nights, especially when I didn't have a bed to lie down. Some of us became friends. I guess I wouldn't have interacted with this variety of people at college if I had flown across the country.  And I was exposed to the villagers on the boundless plain in northern China, which I had got no idea about before. I also noticed that how beautiful Fujian's mountain area is, in spite of the bad traffic conditions. born and raised among 'the educated community' in a cozy city, I understood other part of my country better by traveling on the train. And as my father hoped, I could comfort myself by referring to how bad the train was, when I encountered some problems at that time. Now this function is weakened, because my good/bad memory about the trip becomes vague together.

Rehearsing all these railroad indignities every semester, I swore that I would try to change the desparate situation in the future, either by donation, or by some other efforts. However, almost right after i left China, the railway was enormously improved without one bit of my contribution (if complaining doesn't count as contribution). Now it only takes about 20 hrs to travel between beijing and fuzhou, and there are more trains running between them. I haven't got the chance to taste the new schedule despite myself.

实验室一位同事非常推崇museum of natural history, 又听小白说那儿拍过一部电影, 于是上周就和她去看了。其实这个博物馆也就算collective，并不像想像中的那样让人耳目一新。可能我太picky了，毕竟二十多年来已经去过大大小小各种科技馆海洋馆博物馆纪念馆了。 想到那个同事比我大一圈，又有两个小孩我对他的评论也就释然了。收藏标本的制作水平倒是足以让中国同行叹服，非常生动逼真，难怪可以在这里拍 night at the museum（也许这些年中国在这方面也取得了很大的突破也不可知）。

昨晚看了看night at the museum, 比较搞怪，半夜看起来也有几分惊悚。感叹一下，很多年前，某圈功刚被取缔不久，中国出品了一部叫《宇宙与人》的科教电影。作为广大中小学生的一员，我自然也在前往瞻仰之列。且不说此片的背景和意图，就电影本身的艺术性和科学性而言，即使在多年之后重睹，也是非常出色的。由于出国过早而没有机会欣赏的朋友不妨抽空看一下这部难得的富有民族特色的科普片。

这部电影也说明中国人依然是非常擅长总结的。一百多年来，中小学的课本总编写得严谨无比，可以反复读很多遍。以致大学时读到某些新写赶写乱写的中文教材时，常常感到反胃，也为中文感到悲哀。但是也许正因如此，因福得祸，对于现代科学这个舶来品，我们面对 incomplete data 的探索能力还远远不够，或者没有在校园内得到训练，因此影响到了整个民族的科技原创力。（说实话在社会生活的其他方面我倒是观察到了中国人无穷无尽的智慧。）

和美国日本的基础教育相比，我觉得我所经历过的中国的教育或不够灵活散漫，或含有一些欺骗性，或不够实用，但总体上说，还是非常平等的。到大学一年级前，为你准备的所有知识都指着一条通向“光辉的顶点”的道路，每个人的领受力，偏好，以及记忆力都不同，但是这种堪称精英教育的道路却是人人有机会看到和涉足的。不会因为出身贫穷的原罪而早早关闭。

我总觉得中小学的启蒙太关键了。虽然近来万事蹉跎，回望那两所历史超出北大多年的中学小学，我在其中也许懵懂或不开心，自认还是得到了相当完整透彻的训练，虽然没有完全消化，至今还时常感受到其中的力量。

http://user.qzone.qq.com/359291723/blog/1226739886

adapt it from my cousin's blog. These days it is hard to get an article about fuzhou cuisine with correct pics.

托一只大西洋上的来客的福，我终于看了 tourists' New York。

去meet another whittette 前先见识了一下夏天傍晚的harlem 125st, 比以前凌晨转公交去LGA 机场恐怖多了。因为预报说有雷雨，我们没有去中央公园的音乐会 （天气却很正常。。。）饭后特意坐上跨过east river的airtram. 向小白蹭了一晚w7x street 的hotel, 是我在美国住过的最简陋的旅馆了，见识了古老的需要向外拉门才能进去的电梯，还碰到了来自"a brother country, not just neighbor" 的receptionist, 我和小白因此分别获得香蕉一只.

American museum of natural history还不错, 下部电影准备看night at the museum

在macy's 逛了一会。how tourist-like we are!

因为没法搞到上女神之冠的票, 我们坐上staten island ferry, 远远的看了statue of liberty 和brooklyn bridge.

再逛华尔街。

晚上去了empire state building。 结论是：队伍很长, 夜景很璀璨, 洪鹏同学是我们基01旅游系统优秀的纽约地陪兼摄影，我和小白在他的指导下都玩的开心极了。可惜我把他仅有的那一张高楼夜游图照花了。。。

然后便是我们漫长的暗夜地铁之旅。

hiking 3小时归来。天黑了，傍晚的云似乎都不见了。有点后悔今天没有去天文馆看星星。一两个月来，每个周二都下雨或阴天。

前两天第一次见到了萤火虫。按说我小时候还挺亲近大自然的，为什么就没见过呢？福州有萤火虫吗？